October 9, 2011
Somniay Bascomb

“You are the first person that I share this news with, and I share this with you because I can relate to you,” Fantasia told fans during a concert. “And for a while I walked around figuring out ‘What will they say and what will they think about me?’ But now I tell you I don’t live my life for folk.”

The folks in the audience should have said, “Don’t get me involved in this shit!”

Back in August of this year, Fantasia finally admitted to fans while onstage that she is expecting her second child- a rumor she spent several months denying. The 2004 American Idol winner’s notable weight gain excited pregnancy rumors early on, spurring manager Brian Dickens into major damage control. “Fantasia’s pregnant with prosperity,” he told CNN back in February of this year. (Nice word play) But in August, Fantasia finally became tired of hiding and decided that denying the inevitable was as useless as having a birth control plan and announced her pregnancy onstage. At the time, neither the due date nor the father’s name was released but the identity of her baby’s daddy was not a real mystery for those of us who were aware of the singer’s ignoble love life.

Now that the truth is out, her problems are only just beginning. The issue her pregnancy now poses, other than being pregnant by someone else’s husband, is the fact that she was all set to play the role of Mahalia Jackson, a respected and legendary gospel singer, in the biographical film Mahalia!. The ever so creeping closer due date has caused serious scheduling conflicts; producers cited Fantasia with not telling them she was pregnant until they were four months into filming. To say they were highly pissed would be putting it lightly. Thanks to Fantasia, the movie has now been delayed until after the New Year; director Euzhan Palcy may be forced to drop out of the project and producers will be clambering to get the movie done by fall of 2012. If she can’t start filming by January, producers are more than willing to replace the singer. They will renegotiate her contract to give her time for breast feeding and all that stuff, but if she isn’t ready to go, they are pitched to move forward without her. Missy Elliot is currently being suggested for Barrino’s role. (Beep Beep. Jesus got the keys to the jeep. V-r-rroooom…)

All of this has led to the discovery of the due date, which is December 27th and the name of the father who turned out to be (drum roll, please) a still married Antwaun Cook. Her controversial relationship with Antwaun (Really? With this name spell… really?) was revealed last summer with Barrino claiming not to know he was married until it was too late. (It hadn’t been too late until the pregnancy happened. Now it’s too late.)

Meanwhile, Mahalia Jackson family members along with the gospel community are up in arms with concerns that Fantasia’s actions will sully the name and reputation of the Queen of Gospel. How is she going to play the role of such a great and respected woman while being pregnant out of wedlock; not to mention being pregnant by another woman’s husband? To top things off, she straight up lied about the pregnancy, hiding it like a common coward but pretending the baby pounds was simply her getting into character.

“God has given me this child and I don’t have to hide it from none of y’all,” Barrino told fans at the Jacksonville, Florida show. Oh but she did hide it. Liar, liar maternity pants on fire. She got good practice skeezing around with a married man and now the lies can roll effortlessly off the tongue. Remember how she swore she never knew he was married and living with his wife? Let’s travel back to Fantasia’s suicidal phase; when she was hospitalized for overdosing on Skittles the week after Cook’s wife filed a child custody petition. According to court records, she later had to testify at that hearing and that’s when the truth came out. Under oath, Ms. Barrino admitted she was well aware of Antwaun Cook’s marriage and that he still shared a home with his wife. (Liar, Liar)

Ladies and gentlemen (especially white folks), I’m here so that if you don’t know hood speak, I can get you up on the game and tell you that someone like Fantasia is known in the hood as a Sideline Hoe and the Gospel Community has every right to be concerned about it. Absolutely, feel free to use the terminology, because it can apply to any person of any race fitting the description of being a person willing to take backseat and live in secret with another person’s spouse or partner. A Sideline Hoe is just that: someone willing to be on the side and accept being used as nothing more than a tool. If you think about it, I promise you personally know someone just like that.

The Sideline Hoe may want more from the relationship, but they can never get more because they’ve already consented to being abused. You only have to look at Fantasia’s love history to see an example of this. You will often find that people like her can’t maintain a relationship with quality people because quality people usually don’t want them. The only love they can achieve is to borrow the love of another. A part time lover is unfortunately better than being alone. I personally call that type of desperation “some lonely bitch shit”. Willing to become a Sideline Hoe is some lonely bitch shit and I tell ya, I can appreciate a story like this.

Whenever I’m able to catch a tiny glimpse inside the private lives of celebrities, I’m able to see a certain vulnerability there to remind me that they are just as simple and human as I am. They get lonely. They can feel desperate. They can pine away for love they can’t receive. They go through heartbreak and depression just like I do. Sometimes, they even check their bank accounts and discover they are overdrawn in the bank, too. They are subject to the same laws and life lessons that govern us all and no one… I mean NO ONE is impervious to pain and screwing up their lives to be damned. I have screwed up my life and recovered only to screw it up again and I just come back for more. The only difference between us and them? They are given the title “Stars”, but they are by no means unreachable.

Besides, even stars eventually burn out and fall from heaven.